"Children. Those buggers." I thought scornfully to myself as I watched a tidal wave of little children make it's way up the side of the mountain; Jack leading the way and Ralph bringing up the rear. I was very befuddled at how easily order could turn to chaos. All Jack had to say was "Let's make fire!", and every child within range followed him up the mountain. Jack, the next Pied Piper. I believe that his enthusiasm made him irresistible, while also officious. The children's minds were obviously warped by this.I watched as Ralph's sense of duty quickly vanished with his childish thoughts and intrigue. And this was our leader? I would make a better leader.
I can't believe the twit that Ralph has become in the few hours that Jack's has been around. I feel as if I'm an insignificant bug that can be easily squished. He told everyone what the people back at school call me, ridiculed me, ignored me, and turned into a selfish child. He would need my help to even last a day in the new world. I don't mind, though. I am worried about Jack, though. The way he treated me up at the mountain seems to give a glimpse of his impatient, ruthless attitude. I hope Ralph doesn't develop that characteristic.
I felt powerless when Jack came after me today. He's very tall, nimble, and just plain terrifying. I tried to say what I thought and he denied me that right. And Ralph didn't even help!! He just stood there, not even caring. The children started a tumult pointed at me.
What about that little boy? The one that was afraid of the "beastie". I wonder ifhe's even alive. It's all Ralph's fault. He didn't keep order, so I couldn't keep track of all the buggers.
When Ralph and I first met the rest of the survivors, I felt as if we were a phoenix that had risen from the ashes. We survived that terrible crash, while they rest of the kids were dead. We stood up as one, and created the beginnings of a great democracy. Now, the phoenix has fallen; and I don't think it'll will rise again.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Annelise-
I love the metaphor about the phoenix, amazing! The way you say that
-"I felt as if we were a phoenix that had risen from the ashes. We survived that terrible crash, while they rest of the kids were dead. We stood up as one, and created the beginnings of a great democracy. Now, the phoenix has fallen; and I don't think it'll will rise again."
The image of hope being crushd by despair is amazing...
I completely agree with Emma. Your metaphors in this passage were fantastic and especially the one about being a phoenix and then falling, not being able to rise again. I really enjoyed reading how you used the vocab words and your opinion towards Ralph's actions such as in this part of the passage,
"I tried to say what I thought and he denied me that right. And Ralph didn't even help!! He just stood there, not even caring. "
Great job Annelise, this piece was amazing as so is all your writing.
I agree. I like how you used many similes and metaphors throughout your whole story : "I feel as if I'm an insignificant bug that can be easily squished."
It gives a clear image of Piggies thoughts. I also liked the ending, it is very thoughtful image of the whole story.
"I felt as if we were a phoenix that had risen from the ashes. We survived that terrible crash, while they rest of the kids were dead. We stood up as one, and created the beginnings of a great democracy. Now, the phoenix has fallen; and I don't think it'll will rise again."
Post a Comment