Gross. Jack slit that poor pig's throat, cut off it's head, and jammed the head onto a stick. Blood trickles down the stick. The flies are already surrounding the pig, and I come running straight into their trap. Flies buzz all around me, but all I can hear is that mysterious voice seeming to come from the pig head. It tells me to join the savages! How could it say that? I mean, it just got killed by those savages! And now it wants me to join them! No way. I am on Ralph's side, ever since that first day on this island. Although it's been awhile, I have no plans to change my mind. Jack and his boys are heartless, dispicable savages; nothing more.
I can't take that voice anymore. It's gotten quite loud and frightening. I soon become very tremulous. It threatens me; saying they'll "do you in" if I don't join them. I assume that "them" is Jack. but could he mean others? Maybe there's another group on this island that we hadn't noticed!? My mind continues to race, and the pigs voice continues to get louder. Before I know it, I'm getting woozy. After a while, I collapse onto the jungle floor.
When I wake up, I decide to investigate the mysterious sound coming for the top of the mountain. I discover it's only a corpse, not a beast. I conclude that there is no beast up here, and can't wait to tell Ralph and the others. I race as fast as I can down the mountainside, through the bush, and pause for a moment to catch my breath.
I run through the final bush, and I'm thrown into a horrible, vicious song and dance that Jack and his savages are doing. Wait, Raph and Piggy are there too. How could they? When were they corrupted by Jack? We had our own colony, and they just gave up, and let the signal fire go out! Everyone stops their dance, and charges at me like a pack of hungry wolves.
They rip my flesh, continuing the chant. Do they not realize it's only me? How could they not? Nobody looks at my face, but continues to rip my flesh with the teeth and bare hands. Oh, the steadfast agony. Why won't it stop? Finally, the pain stops, the world drifts away, and my eyes shut. I see a meadow with my mummy and daddy playing in the grass. They run to greet me. I am finally at peace.
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2 comments:
Annelise-
I love your ending with Simon running in a green meadow. It's a pleasant way to think about death. But you could add a little more to what happened at the end and what Simon overheard the boys arguing about.
"They rip my flesh, continuing the chant. Do they not realize it's only me? How could they not? Nobody looks at my face, but continues to rip my flesh with the teeth and bare hands. Oh, the steadfast agony. Why won't it stop? Finally, the pain stops, the world drifts away, and my eyes shut. I see a meadow with my mummy and daddy playing in the grass. They run to greet me. I am finally at peace."
Thats one great paragraph you got there, i really imagined the scene of them attacking you. it was also really discrptive. Keep it up!
~Nick
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